


black flowers blossom (fearless on my breath)

by seemeeimbeebee



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen, Gideon is a perceptive child and not everyone is over their damage, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Minor Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, minor mention of Henry, minor mention of Killian Jones, minor mention of Regina, minor mention of Zelena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11446062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seemeeimbeebee/pseuds/seemeeimbeebee
Summary: “Gideon Gold was a smart boy. So when he first began to learn magic, he definitely noticed some of the looks adults in the town would give him.”A post s6 oneshot exploring the impact the Black Fairy had on Gideon, and how the town might feel about him as he starts to grow up.





	black flowers blossom (fearless on my breath)

**Author's Note:**

> I was interested in writing a oneshot from Gideon's perceptive where he doesn't quite understand what's going on on (given that he's growing up again for all intents and purposes), but still is dealing with residual trauma from his time with the Black Fairy, despite how much love/support Rumple, Belle and others are providing him.
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Title taken from "Teardrop" by Massive Attack

Gideon Gold was a smart boy.  
  
He knew this because once he’d asked Mummy why Papa and Killian the Pirate--named so because Mummy always called him “Killian” and Papa always called him “Pirate” when he didn’t have anything nice to say--didn’t seem to like each other very much.

She had looked at him with wide eyes, in a surprised way that adults look at him sometimes when he would say something they think that he didn’t, or shouldn’t know. He was very used to that look. 

Mummy had pulled him into her lap while proclaiming that he was the smartest boy she ever knew, and that Papa and Killian the Pirate had been in a fight for a very long time. He had asked her why they didn’t just say sorry to each other so they could stop fighting, and Mummy kissed his hair and repeated that he was a very smart and sweet boy.

Gideon liked being a smart boy. It meant he could big kid read books with Mummy--in fact, he’d read the first _Harry Potter_ book to her all by himself last week during their story time--and he could help Papa in his shop. Of course, he had to be very, very careful in the shop, but he was always a careful boy. Mummy said it was part of the reason he was so smart. He could watch and listen before he acted.

So when he first began to learn magic, he definitely noticed some of the looks adults in the town would give him.  
  
Like one time, when he was walking down the street with Mummy, Pongo had barked really loudly. Gideon later told both his parents that he didn’t mean to make the lightbulb burst, he was just surprised. But that didn’t stop the couple walking down the street from walking quickly away from him and Mummy. 

Or another time, when he was walking to the library with Papa, he’d been so delighted by a rainbow that he had seen over a building, that a whole row of flowers appeared at his feet. Papa waved his hand to get rid of them, but Gideon asked if he could pick one to take to Mummy and Papa had agreed.

But it didn’t stop Papa from scowling at the whispering dwarves across the street until they stopped talking and started whistling.

And one time, he was playing in the park with Robyn, and he showed her some cool little tricks that he could do. After all, Robyn’s mum said it was okay and he promised to be super duper safe. The fairies just stopped and watched them for a while. The feeling of being looked at sat weirdly in the bottom of his stomach, and his heart began to slam against his chest.

He was glad when Robyn’s mum sent them away, though he spent most of the afternoon close to Robyn’s mum after that.

There were some adults that didn’t seem to be bothered by him or his magic. Mayor Mills always did a little bit of magic with him if she had a free moment. She had confided to him that she had also learned her magic from his Papa, and it excited him to know that one day he could make cool fireballs like Mayor Mills.

And Killian the Pirate and Sheriff Swan didn’t seem to mind him at all either. They both greeted him with a big smile when he saw them, and sometimes Sheriff Swan would share her onion rings with her. One time, she played magical ring toss and that was the most fun he’d ever had with food, before his Papa had proclaimed, “I’m not raising a heathen, thank you very much, Miss Swan.”

Gideon knew Sheriff Swan had light magic, and he had once shyly asked her if he could learn some of her light magic too. She hadn’t asked why. She just got down beside him so she could look him in the eye—Gideon liked when she did that. Most adults usually towered over him, and he wasn’t sure why but it always made him feel small and scared like they were about to eat him whole—and promised that she would do her best to teach him what she knew.  
  
And Killian the Pirate promised that he could go sailing with him and Henry—the latter was the most mega awesome person that Gideon knew—whenever he wanted provided it was okay with his Mummy and Papa. And Killian the Pirate had super old books that he would give to Gideon as long as he promised to be very very careful with them because some of them belonged to Killian’s big brother.

Even with all these kind adults, and all his friends, and the promises from Mummy and Papa that they would always love him even though he had magic, it still made him afraid sometimes to go into town. He felt like he did something wrong all the time, but he didn’t know what he had done.

He lay back in bed one night, wondering what he ought to do about his problem. It felt like a stone in his stomach, heavy and uncomfortable, and he felt like someone was going to appear out of nowhere and punish him at any moment, even though Mummy and Papa never did that to him.

“If you ever have a problem or you feel like you’re in danger, you can always tell me or Papa,” his mother’s words rang gently in his ear. He frowned, unsure if he could talk to his parents about this. He had a feeling they already knew.

Besides Papa was the Dark One, a fact which he knew he wasn’t supposed to know, but he had seen a picture of his father in Henry’s storybook. It didn’t scare him really. In fact, he’d giggled when he’d seen his Papa with sparkly skin. But he knew plenty of other people were scared by the Dark One and he didn’t want more people to be scared of him.

“When other people have a problem, who do they go to?” Gideon murmured to himself, looking around his room as if the walls would whisper to him and give him an answer. A wooden swan stood on his dresser and he smacked himself in the forehead.

“Duh!” he proclaimed softly.

* * *

 

The next morning he slipped out of bed really early before Mummy and Papa woke up. He could be back before they’d even notice he was gone. He wasn’t sure why he felt like he had to do this without Mummy and Papa knowing, but something in his brain told him that they didn’t need to know.

It was also before a lot of people started to go out on Main Street, so none of the other adults would bother him either.

  
He got dressed and crept quietly outside. It was a nice morning and Gideon hoped that Mummy could take him to the park later. He started to worry as he got closer, wondering what he would do if Sheriff Swan wasn’t at the station. But luckily, he saw her yellow bug outside and he found he could relax.  
  
He looked nervously over his shoulder before opening the door to the police station. Sheriff Swan was at her desk, writing something down in a report. “Excuse me? Sheriff Swan?” Gideon piped up nervously.

Sheriff Swan’s head jerked up. “Oh my God, Gideon!” She got up from her desk immediately and came over to him, kneeling beside him like she always did. “Are you okay? Where are your parents, kid? Are you hurt?”

Gideon took in a deep breath, preparing to tell her why exactly he was here when he felt a catch in his throat. _She’s going to think you’re being ridiculous,_ a voice in his head told him. _She won’t understand or believe you. She can’t help you. Why would anyone listen to you?_ His breaths quickened as the voice seemed to get louder and tears sprung to his eyes. He tried to get the words out, to silence all the thoughts in his head, but instead, he just cried.

Sheriff Swan looked at him, her eyes scanning him like she was looking for something. “Gideon,” she said gently. “Gideon, can I hug you to help you calm down?” He shook his head wildly. “Okay, okay,” she murmured in the same tone. “I’m gonna sit right here, right next to you. And when you’re ready, you can talk to me, okay? It’s okay. You’re just fine.”  
  
He nodded, his throat still choked up and tears still running down his cheeks. He sat beside her and cried as he tried to copy her steady breaths. “I’m sorry,” he finally croaked out, looking up at her with tears shining in his eyes. 

“What are you sorry for?” Sheriff Swan asked him. “It’s okay to cry. You should never ever feel silly for crying.”

He nodded again. “I got scared,” he explained to her. “That you wouldn’t believe me or listen to me, Sheriff Swan.”

“About what?” she asked. He couldn’t answer her right away, and she prompted gently, “You know, if it helps, you can call me Emma instead of Sheriff Swan. That way, I don’t seem so scary, huh?” He smiled a little bit at her and she smiled back.

“I just…people in this town don’t like me,” Gideon started. “And I don’t know why.”

“You mean like other kids?” Emma questioned softly. “Have you talked to your teacher?”

“No, it’s not like other kids,” he replied, looking up at her, bringing his knees to his chest. “It’s adults.”

“How can you tell?” Emma asked, and there was a strange note to her voice, but her face told him that she wasn’t angry with him.

It gave him the courage to keep speaking, “Well, when I do my magic outside, people will stare at me, or walk away from me or whisper to each other. And…and they can’t be surprised by magic, because you do it and Mayor Mills does it and my Papa does it.”

“Smart kid,” Emma murmured to herself, and Gideon smiled a little, even though he wasn’t necessarily meant to hear it.

“I thought maybe at first it was because Papa was the Dark One,” he explained to her. Her eyes widened with surprise—again, he was very familiar with the look adults gave him when he revealed he knew something they thought he didn’t know—and he shifted nervously. “But then…I don’t know. I just feel like it’s me. And I don’t know why. And I thought maybe you could help me.”

Emma let out a long breath, mimicking Gideon’s pose as she brought her knees to her chest. “Have you talked to your parents about this?” she finally asked.

He shook his head. “I don’t…I want to know why,” he finally said. “If I can’t change it, I want to understand. And I don’t know if Mummy and Papa will let me understand.”

“I forget how old you are sometimes,” Emma told him after a moment of silence.

“What does that mean?” Gideon asked her curiously.

Emma bit her lip, a sign to Gideon that she was unsure of how she should proceed. She grimaced for a moment before deciding to start with, “What do you know about the Final Battle?” she asked him, figuring that was a safe place to start.

“Henry won’t let me read that chapter,” Gideon said ruefully, and Emma let out a little laugh. “But I know that there was a dark creature and that you and Henry beat it and you saved all of Storybrooke and all of the realms ever,” he recited proudly.

“You’re close,” Emma said softly. “Although really Henry beat it because he saved my life. But I’m gonna tell you a little bit more about what happened. And…and I just want you to know that I’m not telling you this to scare you or anything, or make you feel bad. I’m trying to help you answer your question, okay?”

“Okay,” Gideon said nervously, biting his lip.

Emma closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. “So the dark creature that Henry and I defeated was a fairy known as the Black Fairy. She was the strongest holder of dark magic, even more powerful than your Papa.” There was more to the story that Emma was leaving out, Gideon could tell, but he let her continue. “And one of the bad things that she used to do was that she used to take children from their mothers where their mothers couldn’t find them.”

Gideon shifted closer to Emma, suddenly wishing that his mother was right here. He’d almost asked Emma to call her right then, but he wanted to know how the story ended. Emma looked at him appraisingly, making sure he was okay with the story and he nodded.

“Well, one of the children she took was the son of somebody in the town. He’d just been born and she took him from his fairy godmother,” Emma said quietly. “And…y’know, I’m not really sure how she did it, but she made him grow up for 28 years alone, and made him think he had to help her or he’d never see his family again. But it had only been a few weeks here.”

“How awful,” Gideon said quietly, breathing out. Emma looked down at the floor for a moment, taking in a deep breath. “There’s more, isn’t there?” he asked. She nodded, but she seemed lost in thought. He gently put a hand on her and she flinched for a moment, before putting her hand over his.

Suddenly, the pieces all seemed to fall into place and Gideon’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in a trembling voice.

“Why are you sorry?” Emma asked confusedly.

“Because I was the boy, wasn’t I?”

Silence hung heavily in the room for a minute before she told him kindly, “It’s over and done with now. Remembering is just a little scary for me sometimes.” He looked up at her, his eyes wide as saucers, and she said, “I was taken from my parents by a curse. And I know…what it feels like to be hurt by someone who is supposed to take care of you.” Her smile became watery and she added, “You just wanted your parents. I know what that feels like.”

  
Gideon wrapped his arms around her tightly and she hugged him back. “So you’re really not scared of me?” he asked. 

“Really not,” Emma confirmed.

“But everyone else is,” Gideon rasped, rubbing at his eyes. “And I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Tell your parents. They’ll help you make it better,” Emma promised, smiling at him. A flurry of footsteps and the clattering of the bell caused both Emma and Gideon to lift their heads.

“You might want to start by telling them when you leave the house, though.” 


End file.
